Monday, March 21, 2005
Free will or determination?
he was caught for selling porn at the vdo/audio shop he worked at. sent to jail and then deported back to pakistan. the arab owner of the shop and his son who were part of it, walked away clean by throwing the entire blame on him. he had a sister. a hard working and ambitious girl. their parents were having a hard time getting her married off. in desi land when you cross 25 and you don�t come form a family where at least 50% are graduates, the only proposals you'll get are of 40+ year olds to be their second wife. she used to teach third grade at the local pakistani school; the same school she had graduated from. she had been approached by quite a few male instructors, who once taught her and were now asking her to marry them. either they had already been divorced, seeking a divorce or being slammed one by their wives. they all had kids who were almost teen-agers. and they believed that they should marry a young woman coz she can be easily 'molded'. they told her that. the owner of the school, a good old man, very well off, gave his not so well of younger brother a job in administration at the same school. when his son came back with a US degree he was the talk of the town... err... school. they had never seen the likes of a western educated being... a school where teachers could barely speak a correct sentence in the english language, a school where the instructors had opted to live under the shadows of colonialism and racism. there he was... smart... well read... well educated... and lo and behold... he had an accent. female instructors and girls alike went gaga over him. his father married him off to his younger brother's daughter. she made for a stunning bride. she even taught at the school for a while. back to the sister. she used to say that he was her ideal husband: western degree, accent et cetera. (desi mentality. hating on themselves day and night.) fast forward 5 years. his wife and her parents had shifted back to pakistan. she was having an affair with her ideal husband. they were indulging in sex too. now there were two who were the talk of the town... err... school. she pulled out a car right outta the showroom. previously her family barely managed to pay their bills with her salary. yes, she was the sole earner. the two would always stay in school till late hours now. he would send her text messages every day with explicit sexual imagery. he'd also tell her she was looking stunning in the dress she wore today and would like it better if she kept her dupatta in so and so a position. in her previous residence, a particular senior male instructor used to live in sharing with the family. they used to refer to him as maamu (mom's brother). and he was considered as one by everyone. he oft praised her for her sheer determination and model character. that was back then. now, he sat with other male instructors at school laughing out loud as he said: yaar aik [her name] hum sub koe bhi mil jaey to maza aa jaaey. free will or determination? can societal norms of being married when your a young pretty look damsel, that theres something wrong with you if youre not, and can proposals from ppl old enough to be your father push you down to such lows? one can't overlook human want. one cant over look its strength. its the way our Creator made us. but one cant overlook that which is wrong for the very person doing the wrong. pity, hate, support, justify, what is one to do? as much as i am slightly shocked, i feel kind of numb towards it all. towards her. i knew of her. her brother and mine were classmates. it's sad but not surprising. see so much happening around me that its become a norm... i've accepted it i guess... hats all i can conclude from my detatchment. i used to wonder how anyone can develop the 'i just mind my own biz, dont care what others are doing, its their life'. but now i know, when youre bombarded with such stuff day and night, it becomes a norm and... you stop to care... its their life after all... their choice... free will or determination? i do not know. i just pray for us all that whatever the force be, free will or determination we don�t end up like him and her. Peace out.